I want everything. What do you want?

Everything.


Give me an example—just everything:

like what give me an example

Clouds soft enough to dim the sun, the weight of my shadow to grow soft, arm-wrestling Dracula and winning, flowers blooming at my command, claiming the moon as a lover, having it all for myself, remembering how to fly.

I want everything.

To understand the whispers of birds, to quiet the empty spaces that is within , to drop the act, and to be released from the empty center of the myth.

A castle hung in the sky, its walls carved from stone, scented with basil and thyme, with a white butler named Jeff, paid for with my endless pot of gold that I keep with my rainbow right of the dawn just next to the dew on the leaves of my flowers that bloom at my command.

To seduce her with a smile, to hold her in my arms, to leave nothing untouched, to taste her heaven and her lips — for it to be sweet, and for her to want me to gaze as long as I please. I want eight angels’ wings; I will gift her one so she, too, can remember to fly.

For fear to fear me instead — for him to withdraw, to vanish into a cell a meter and a half wide, half a meter long, and half a meter high, just enough for a slow death.
To consume without limit, to remember at command and to forget at command; for words not to vanish before my eyes before I speak them. To know everything — even what I cannot yet grasp.

To own all of Bernini’s work — I would place it beside my bed, to touch and to gaze at for as long as I wish, then use it to hang my shirts: the ones Jeff will wash, iron, and scent with care. I will hang The Girl with a Pearl Earring high upon the stone walls, with The Garden of Earthly Delights as the castle’s backyard. I will leave the monsters to roam free — I might even ask Jeff to feed them, too.

I want everything.

For them both never to have been hurt — especially by the ones who claimed to love them. For her never to have fallen ill, and for me never to have seen her on that damn hospital bed. For the four of us never to be broken. I will let the pain pass silently to anyone else — just not to those eight.

I have nothing , but I want everything .but i have nothing at all

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A Love Letter Toward My Phantom Limb